By their very nature, relationships require a lot of negotiation as you get to know each other and begin the foundations of a strong and sustainable friendship. Whilst you may be anxious about being a good partner, your boyfriend may share the same concerns.
You each need time to get to know each other. Give yourself space to really get to know each other so that you can trust that you’re a good couple. If you push for the relationship to be more than it is, you may unnerve your boyfriend. Let him call you his girlfriend in his own time. Meet his friends and family, you will learn a lot more about him from his interactions with them. You may be amazed at how good he is with his sisters kids, or he may tell his friends that he doesn’t want children of his own. Don’t expect to change his mind, only he can change.
Be true to yourself
Have confidence in your own independence. Don’t ever fake an interest in something he loves as he will find out eventually and this will hurt you both. He enjoys your company, so continue to share your interests with him and listen and be attentive to him also.
You and your boyfriend are not going to agree on everything. Be comfortable to talk about your wishes, wants and ideas so he understands you better. He will then feel comfortable to do the same with you. Be careful not to belittle or insult his opinions, you can disagree and be considerate of his feelings at the same time.
None of us are saints, so when you are in the wrong promptly admit it. If you overreact, acknowledge it and apologize. It makes for a simpler life and builds trust between you. If he has done or said something you don’t like, let him know calmly as he may have no idea it upsets you. You’ll be learning more and more about each other as time passes.
Hold hands, touch his arm, a hug, stroke his hair, mention how great he is in front of other people, all of these shows your affection. You might have a pet name for him, but check that he’s not embarrassed if you use this in public. Whilst it’s great to show affection, try not to come across as clingy by overdoing it.
Give him gifts as a way of showing that you cherish him being in your life. You will want to mark his birthday, your anniversary and other celebrations with a gift that shows that you love him and understand what makes him happy. It’s also fun to give each other gifts at other times too, to let him know how much he means to you or to say thank you to him for his support. Gifts don’t have to cost money, you can make something if you have the time and the skill. Be imaginative! In a pinch you can always buy something shiny and special online – e-shops like Etsy or The Eternity Rose are great for gifts for all occasions – be it wedding, burthdays, xmas or St. Valentine’s day presents.
Ask about his interests and talk about the things that matter to him even if you don’t share the same level of enthusiasm. You can support him with his own hobbies without taking part. Remember to make time to do your own thing too, to hang out with your girlfriends, and to follow your own interests and hobbies. Offer him a lift if he wants to drink on a night out, or take on some tasks that will free up his time for his hobby. He will likely support you when you’re involved in your own interests.
Long-lasting relationships are about give and take. Always have each other’s back. This means you don’t undermine each other and you openly cherish each other. Together you try and fix problems instead of assuming he will sort it all out. You compromise. He will not appreciate criticism if he’s rarely complimented. Be tactful and calm when you’re trying to explain why your feelings are hurt. Remember that it’s not all about you! Your boyfriend may have no idea why you’re upset by a situation or by what he has done if no harm was meant.
And have some fun with this video 🙂